Happy Mothers Day!!!!!

Today my head is filled with many thoughts. My Mother passed away when I was just 14. I still miss her I am now 57. I had to call my oldest today because he is in a residential care center many miles from me and did not have the money to call me. I had to call there 7 times to finally get someone to answer the phone. They kept hanging up on me when the person on the other end tried transfering the call. I finally asked the person that answered to please connect me to my son somehow it is Mothers day and it wasn't just for my sake that I was calling that he was probably unable to call me and I know he wanted to talk to me today. God bless that lady...I got to talk to my oldest son, she held me on the line until she got somebody to answer and I was finally connected.

That made it a better day....For both of us....

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

To my Youngest I think about you everyday...I love you..I pray for you...

MOM

Most of the items that you see on my blog were either swapped or traded in various groups I have belonged to. I do not sell my art but have used it as fun.....or an outlet, an expression. I may change this at some point and change directions completely. I'm not sure where I'm going right now.....It is my time to rest...and collect my thoughts. The altered(assemblage) dolls,hand made silver crosses and journals are the only things that are still in my posession. The collage "Brain Storm" Is in the posession of my ex boyfriend against my wishes....as well as other pieces I made specifically for him.

Altered Art Bracelet for Swap- Bot

This is a different post for me And I hope no one gets offended. This is an attempt to reach out to my son who I have not seen for some time. since I got a glimpse of him at a Pep Boys Garage where he did not speak to me. I was quite ill at the time.

What I want to say is this ... people can say and do many things and paint many pictures about a person that may actually not be true about them. I am thinking that people may have misinformed you about me.

Truth is I am sick that's why I thought you would do better somewhere else. They made me think I was totally and completely worthless. Truth is I wasn't wothless because my son, If you remember I did quite a few things before I had my break down...

I supported both you and your father for a long time because your father was mentally ill.

I took the bus back and forth to work getting home very late because I had to take the last bus..

I took care of you both..

Food I always provided no matter what i had to do.... going to food pantries..walking riding the bus, what ever...

medications

doctors

transportation

buses

cars that broke down

walking

I walked you to school everyday because we did'nt have a car...

we took buses to the doctors many doctors because I didn't know what was wrong many medications because I didn't know what was wrong. What was wrong?

I got up in the middle of the night when you were screaming and crying and comforted you.....

everynight...for years.....

Meanwhile your bother twenty years older than you was in a care facility because of a closed head injury and I loved him too...but your father wanted me to forget about him......

Your father hurt me greatly...he used you to hurt me too...I know he is mentally ill...SO AM I...I deserve forgiveness for breaking down...I deserve some respect for trying to hang in there for as long as I did.....I am a beautifull person. Don't you want to know me...I loved you with my whole heart and I knew you did not respect me. What was I to do? Some day I hope you will learn enough about me to finally respect me. Maybe you can speak to me without cursing me or telling me you hate me. Aren't you the least bit curious? Search your heart...............Have you ever wished you had taken a different road in life? I know I do>

I left your father once when you were six months old because he had abused me. I went to a shelter. I called your grandmother to tell her where we were so she would'nt worry. Your dad was there. She said he was so sad he would never do it again. I talked to your Grandfather and he said run, run don't go back. Then your dad got on the phone . I told him where I was. THAT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!!!! He came and I went back home withth him and you know, things just never got any better....I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU AND RAN LIKE HELL.......I WISH I HAD..... I WISH I HAD......I LOVE YOU....MOM

I thought I would make it a little easier for everyone to see Assemblage dolls. Instead of going to older posts.

I wanted to put photos up of some dolls I sent out recently and another Picture of Soldier the Wonder Dog He' wearing his hippy hoody.

I have been working really hard lately on getting out some swaps. In the middle of all this I have had some great demands placed on me. I have reached my whit's end and have decided to close the door on that person. I really am fed up with not be appreciated and that is going to be carried through the different facets of my life. It is like the Bible says if you are not welcomed as you should be, you shake the dust off your feet and move on. That has always been a philosophy of mine. I don't neccessarily think it is a cold hearted way to look at things, but perhaps a path to peace. Which has always been my goal. When I do things I put my heart and soul into it wether it be my art or my friendships or whatever. I give people lots of chances, too many......sometimes given my all to get a slap in the face.

I say to any one out there that is not being respected that gives and gives and gives in a relationship and never gets back. Take a good long look at things:

Are you compromising your values for a person?

Are you constantly having to defend your opinions and beleifs

Are you always walking around on eggshells?(

Do they physically threaten or abuse you?( EVEN THREATENING IS ABUSE)

Do they think they are better than everybody else?

Are they always putting your friends down or finding reasons why you shouldn't hang out with them?

Does he try to isolate YOU from family and friends?

If you see things here that apply to you. YOU MAY BE IN A ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. THERE IS HELP~!!!!!!!. WHERE EVER YOU ARE THERE IS HELP!!!!CALL YOUR LOCAL FAMILY VIOLENCE CENTER OR WOMEN'S SHELTER,THEY CAN GIVE YOU INFORMATION.

I wanted to post a few new photos today.

To show you a picture of my very best friend Soldier. He is my dog, a Min Pin. He likes to wear his coat. He goes with me almost everywhere I go.

Also I wanted you to see the way I display the paper dolls that I receive from the swaps. I put them on a room divider that was made to hold pictures. You can see it behind me in the pictures of me making paper dolls.

I received two lovely Fridas from a Frida Swap that Bambi Doe Blake held this October.

Iv'e purchased a bunch of new images and am trying my hand at building paper dolls with them. A new course for me. I am liking how they are turning out. Add a little bling bling of my own. The Gypsy has black doll hair added, fibers, gold thread,black trim and brads to make her moveable.

The Fairy has black doll hair, green ultra suede and glitter.

I made this Marie Antoinette doll for a swap a couple of months ago. Finally I got my Blog back!!

I plan on posting more pictures in the days ahead. I am involved in a lot of swaps.A lot of paper dolls and art dolls. Should be a lot of fun. I am in a Frida Kahlo swap. That I really enjoy. The bright colors are so much fun. I plan on making a Frida charm bracelet very soon, I will post pictures when I'm finished.

Blue Goddess of Balance and Peace

My first Goddess Doll 6 inche cloth batik fabric fibers beads charms feathers trim ribbon wings

You can donate small stuffed dolls to women in shelters across the country. They can carry their doll with them in their purse or pocket and take it out and look at it and know someone cares . Something to make them feel a little love in this cruel world.
If you are interested in donating or just want to see more about the project go to http://comfortdolls.blogspot.com/ I know I am planing on donating several dolls to this cause, I really believe in this program.